Internal Family Systems (IFS)

What is IFS?Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidenced-based psychotherapy recognized by the American Psychological Association and the National Registry for Evidence-based Programs and Practices. I wanted to take this opportunity to share more about it given it’s novel approach and the connection I have felt with it both professionally and personally. Have you ever found yourself saying, “A part of me…but another part of me…?” And then once you make the decision to “go with” one part, the other part rears up in some way? Common enough experience, right? Many people who seek therapy do so because “parts” of themselves form behavioral habits that can cause difficulties in their lives. IFS is a non-pathologizing approach to helping the client get to know, understand, and form compassionate relationships with their parts.

What are parts? What is the Self?

According to IFS, we are all made up of what we call parts and we all have a Self. Other words for Self might be soul or center. The IFS model is founded on the belief that we are all born with parts and a Self. Being human means, at times, experiencing, difficulties, pains, loss, and grief. And sometimes those experiences cross over into the category of traumatic. When we have these experiences we often (and understandably) will do whatever we can to not have to experience the feelings, memories, or beliefs about ourselves that these experiences caused. And so, in an effort to help that cause, parts of us take on more extreme protective roles. Examples of protectors include, but are not limited to: the inner critic, the perfectionist, the caretaker, the one that tries to control everything, and/or the parts that try to distract from any underlying pain through drinking, drugs, overeating, playing video games, or overworking, among others. These parts do this to protect some of the more tender, hurt parts of our system. However, this can cause problems in our life. So, what do we do? Very often we develop other parts who try to get rid of these protectors to try to make them stop in any way possible. What does this do? It often leads the parts to become even more extreme, and a cycle is formed.

So what do we do with all of this?

There is a path out of this painful cycle and it is through Self. The Self is an inner source of wisdom, compassion, and clarity that IFS believes we all have access to. Therefore, IFS works to help you both better understand the protective parts, as well as reconnect with Self. IFS maintains that the Self never leaves you. Even if it sometimes doesn’t feel like it, Self is still in there and it knows how to heal. When the time is right, and enough trust has been built between the protectors and the Self (the main job of the IFS therapist is to facilitate that trust internally), the more tender, vulnerable parts and their experiences, hurts, and beliefs about themselves can be helped and in fact, healed, allowing those protective parts to relax. The internal system begins to trust the Self, who can then lead and help get you closer to the life you want to live.

For more information on IFS: https://ifs-institute.com/

Of course, we do not have to do IFS. We will always collaborate on what feels like the best fit for you.